What To Do When Life Is Kicking Your Ass

If you’re a regular visitor to this blog, you may have noticed I haven’t been updating much lately.

To say the last few months have kicked my ass is an understatement. Life has been challenging because I’ve been dealing with a health issue to which I can’t seem to get any straightforward answers. In a quick summary: I’ve had ear pain, poor balance, and severe headaches for over two months. Add to my physical symptoms the madness which is dealing with the health care system and my insurance company. This all has left me frustrated and exhausted, with no energy for anything besides getting through each day.

So I’ve been fairly absent from the blogosphere and my social media accounts. I haven’t been working or writing or lifting weights with my trainer. I’ve been lying around trying to rest and not worry about my ear. Trying is the key word there…

Working on my cross stitch while watching football is self care

I dislike the phrase “stressed out,” and try to avoid it. It’s a catch all excuse to avoid holding oneself accountable. How many times have you heard yourself or someone else say Oh I’m so sorry I was a bitch, I’m just really stressed out right now? 🙄

But if I were to ever use that phrase, now would be the time.

One of my most loved quotes comes from Glennon Doyle:

Life is hard – not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.

I was reminded of that quote when I got this text from a good friend last week

She knows I’ve been going through a tough time. But guess what? So has she. So has everyone.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that living a full life and loving a lot of people means “it’s always something.” There is no break from being human, from dealing with the shit that is thrown at us on a daily basis. My current health issue means I’m not operating on all cylinders. So when those things fly at me – my cat needed an urgent surgery last week, a friend lost her father – I don’t have my usual full tank of emotional energy to face these situations. And that’s hard too because I want to do more, but I’m running on empty.

So what can we do when being a human is hard and we just can’t muster the strength to face one more crisis? All I can offer is what I’m doing right now. It’s trial and error. The same solution isn’t going to fit every problem every time.

What To Do When Life Is Kicking Your Ass

Recognize it. Life is hard and that is totally okay. Say it out loud. Tell the people who care about you.
Ask for help. Don’t try to power through. Tell the people around you that you need help. Maybe that’s help with housework, or finding a therapist.
Take a break. This can mean something different to everyone. Take time off work. Skip the gym. Go to bed early and sleep in late. Do whatever you need to rest your body, mind, and spirit. For me, this was taking off from my obligations for a couple weeks and focusing on getting answers to my health concerns.
Do more of what makes you happy. I have a T-shirt with this saying on it because even I need a reminder sometimes. This can be little things like going for walks, or eating your favorite snack.

All of that is easier said than done, I realize. I’m saying it for you as much as for myself.

And maybe you’re wondering why is this post on a book blog? Who am I to give advice for self care? I’m not a health care professional. But I’m a human and so are you. When share our experiences (especially when we are suffering) we form connections that make us, and those we share with, feel less alone.

So tell me what do you do when life is kicking your butt? How do you take care of yourself when you need it most?

10 Comments

Lea
September 16, 2019 at 12:15 pm

Communicating with you is always a great way to help me through. Breathing deeply and recognizing a hard time seems to be huge for me as well. Working for me can also be a way to put
My personal crap aside and get through a day.
Kim Davis
September 16, 2019 at 12:47 pm

Hello,
I am so sorry you have not been feeling well. I am not a health care professional but I am a mental health professional. I know all about the importance of “self care”. Sometimes, we get so caught up in daily life that we don’t make time for taking care of ourselves. I know that I look forward to my days off, however, I seem to be more busy on my days off than I do when I actually work! So, self care for me is taking a cold drink and laying in a hot bath tub with a “psychology today” magazine. Afterwards, I turn on Netflix and watch a raunchy comedian make me laugh until I almost pee myself. This is how I unwind. This is how I “self care”. It sounds like something that could be done everyday, but honestly, I have to fit this into my schedule! I have a blood disorder. I am severely anemic and I have some kind of abnormal cells. Anyway, I sometimes feel tired and wore down too, but I still have to hustle. I sometimes have to get iron transfusions and I get b-12 injections monthly. I want you to know that I enjoy your blog. I want you to continue with the self care. Taking care of you is the best thing you can do. That and drinking lots of water!!! ha ha!
Ramona Mead
September 16, 2019 at 2:48 pm

Thank you Kim! I appreciate your kind words and support of my blog. I’m also honored that you shared your personal struggles. There’s such a stigma against it in our society, especially on social media.
Ramona Mead
September 16, 2019 at 2:49 pm

Thank you friend. Those are great suggestions. Slow deep breathing is my go to for grounding in really tough moments. A couple long slow exhales can be very calming.
Jami
September 16, 2019 at 6:27 pm

This was a much needed post! Thank you! I’m still very much learning to take care of myself. It’s not been easy. Becoming a parent is forcing me. Currently I’m taking a meditation class in an attempt to learn self care options. Waaaaay outside of the box for me and I’m waaaaay enjoying it.
I hope you get answers soon. Its even harder to remember self care when you don’t feel well.
Noa
September 16, 2019 at 7:19 pm

Thank you Ramona – what a wonderful post! We have got to take care of ourselves and it has felt more like a struggle recently. I try to exercise, read books, cook things I want to cook, and helping others always feels good but it is more of a struggle recently. I recently read “Overwhelmed work, love, and play no one has the time” by Brigid Schultz – liked her research and it is good to remember we are not alone in this struggle. I hope you feel better soon.
Ramona Mead
September 23, 2019 at 6:25 pm

Thank you for taking the time to comment, and for your compassion. I added that book to my To Read list. I’m on a new medication that seems to be helping.
Ramona Mead
September 23, 2019 at 6:26 pm

Thank you friend. It helps to know we’re not alone in our struggles. I started a new medication last week that may be giving me some relief. I appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and comment.
John McLellan
September 24, 2019 at 1:07 pm

This post hits home for me at this chapter of my summer, and life, too. You’re not alone, dear friend.
Ramona Mead
September 24, 2019 at 6:01 pm

Thank you friend. I am realizing we are all struggling n our own ways. Much love to you.